Are We on a Raceway?

Wow.  Another month has flown by at record speeds.  August has ended and we are into our 6th month in Utah.  How did that happen and why do I still have unpacked boxes and furniture in my bedroom and garage?!!  Even still we are feeling more comfortable in our house, our neighborhood, and our schools... Yay.

Derek still loves his job and has been busily doing many great things.  He loves being part of this larger, dynamic city and is getting used to the sometimes quirky Utah culture.  There are some really cool things that happen here and it is fun to be a part of it.  We are so grateful that he can continue to work, as this takes his mind off feeling yucky and helps us feel somewhat normal... not to mention the plethora of expenses that are covered by his income:)  

Last month Derek had another PET scan, which we were hoping would reveal that his cancer had shrunk to immeasurable sizes after the 6 months of chemo.  Unfortunately, his lymph nodes are still enlarged and the oncologist thought it would be wise to try to knock the cancer a little harder before taking a break from the chemotherapy.  This was hard news, although positive in many ways.  His blood counts have amazingly dropped down into a normal range, which is great (even though this is not a perfect indicator of anything), and he has done better with the chemo than most.  The 12 treatments have definitely taken a toll on Derek emotionally and physically, and we were all looking forward to the break, but the oncologist went ahead with treatment #13, feeling that his body will benefit from a total of 16 treatments.  Hopefully this will shrink things down a bit more before they stop for a time. They are removing the chemical that causes a lot of the neuropathy (weird nerve sensitivities), so we thought that would help with some of his troubles, but so far it has continued to get worse... maybe this is normal?  Either way, he is a trooper and I don't think anyone who doesn't know him well would have any idea that he's going through chemotherapy.  He will have treatment #14 on Tuesday.

The kids are all back in school and my house is so quiet.  My kitchen stays cleaner and it is nice to have some sort of a routine, but I admit that I've felt rather lonely.  I have started exercising again and it feels good to move and get some fresh air each morning. I miss all the visitors but am keeping busy and starting to get more organized. I think some days I still grieve the loss of the life we had a year ago, but I just take it a day at a time, trying to make positive forward progress.  I recognize that I have come to rely more on the Lord each day, I'm finding more significance in my interactions with others, and I am more grateful for the simple things in my life... this is positive forward progress!  Why do I resist being molded and sculpted into something better?  

So, truthfully, as I say "Hello" to September, there are days that I am merely holding on through the turns, wishing the driver would slow down for a bit.  But there have been more and more days that I feel I can lean into the turns and even squeal with delight at the speed we are going.  Thank you for checking in on us!  We are so grateful for our friends, old and new, and for your prayers and words of encouragement.  We pray for you, too:)